Issue 1 - January 2024

Kaleidoscript magazine Published by

"Dan Hamel's journey from adversity to heroism unfolds in 'Zero to Hero.' A story of family, resilience, and a life-changing act of organ donation."

Zero to Hero

By Daniel Hamel

June 13th, 1964, I was born Timothy John Chandler to Howard and Shirley Chandler in Bennington Vermont. I was their third child. Fred was born in 1961 and Gwen was born in 1962.

Our parents had some tough times. When I was six months old, our mother was hospitalized due to postpartum depression. She was later admitted to a psychiatric ward. Our father was an alcoholic. The State of Vermont recognized that our father could not care for three young children and took Gwen and I into State’s custody. Fred being three years old, they allowed our father to care for him. After several months our mother was still in the institution and was not allowed contact with anyone on the outside.

Without her consent, Gwen and I were put up for adoption. We were both eventually adopted separately. Gwen was first by a family from Woodstock. I was adopted at 22 months by Ronald and Madelyn Hamel of Windsor. I was their fifth and youngest child. They named me Daniel Joseph Hamel.

For sixteen months I was in State’s custody and to this day I do not know who taught me how to walk. Gwen and I grew up fifteen miles apart not knowing that each other existed for decades. Growing up I knew that I was adopted. As an adopted child you always want to know where you came from. It’s something inside of you like a piece is missing and you want to find it.

When I was 29, I was working as a truck driver. My route took me to Bennington where I was born. I would go there every day and my curiosity grew day by day. At the time I was enthralled by the TV show Unsolved Mysteries. That show taught me how to begin my search. Before computers and the internet, I walked into the Bennington Town Hall on my lunch break one day and asked if I could search through records to find out who I was.

I discovered who my birth parents were, my birth name and where my mother worked. The next day I went to the nursing home where she worked and walked into the laundry room. I asked the woman in there if she knew Shirley Chandler. I told her who I was and that I thought that she was my mother. The woman said, “I am so sorry but Shirley passed away three months ago. I knew that she had children taken away, she had told me the story”.

Before I could process what I had just heard, she added “You have brothers and sisters here in town, would you like to meet them?” She contacted Fred and arranged for us to meet. I drove to Bennington that Saturday and met Fred, Robin and Dennis. Robin, Dennis and Vivian were born after my mother was released from the hospital. She got her life back on track and they had three more children. Vivian needed special care so she could not be at the reunion. It was a miraculous day getting caught up and we reflected on how wonderful it would be to find Gwen. All the State would tell me was that Gwen now resided in New Hampshire. Ten years later, Gwen (now named Anne) found me and we were all reunited after nearly forty years.

Throughout my adult life, I struggled with alcoholism. It cost me a lot before I hit rock bottom. On February 23rd, 2014, my wife at the time took me to a rehab that saved my life. By the end of 2014, she and I got divorced and had to rebuild my life financially. I was proud of my sobriety and knew if I could get sober I could survive anything.

In early June of 2021, I picked up my phone and looked at Facebook. I saw a post from my niece Vickie (Robin’s daughter) whom I had not seen since the reunion when she was a little girl. She posted that her nine-year-old son Kayden was diagnosed with stage 5 kidney disease. The doctor told them that he would not survive a waiting list, they needed to find a living donor as soon as possible.

My heart sank, this poor little boy was going to die if they couldn’t find him a kidney. I told myself, you have always wanted to be an organ donor, send her a message. I woke up the next day and wrote to Vickie. I know you don’t really know me, but I read your post last night. I am really healthy and I know I’m a lot older than Kayden, is there a chance my kidney would work? She asked me, would you do it if you could? I said absolutely. She said I will get you in touch with Brigham & Women’s Hospital and they will take it from there.

I filled out a questionnaire about my mental and physical history. I was very honest about my alcoholism. When they found out I hadn’t had a drink in seven years, didn’t smoke and took no medications, they said, “You are a viable candidate.” They coordinated with my local hospital for lab work. At the same time, Kayden was put on dialysis.

That first round of tests proved that I not only felt healthy, I really was healthy. My organs were strong including my liver that once was failing me. Both of my kidneys were in good working order also. Next was the blood draw for tissue typing. They drew six vials that were Fed Ex’d overnight to Brigham’s. The results would tell me if I was a match for Kayden.

Eleven arduous days went by. On Friday morning I got a call from Brigham’s asking for permission to share the results with Kayden’s parents. I anxiously agreed.

That evening on my way home from work I got a text from Vickie saying, THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER, YOU’RE A PERFECT MATCH. My eyes welled up with tears as I pulled over and called Vickie. We were both crying because we knew that this was going to happen.

The transplant was scheduled for Tuesday, November 16th. I stayed the night before in a hotel down the street from the hospital with Robin. I was at the hospital at 5 am. After I was admitted, she went over to be with Vickie and Kayden at Children’s Hospital. Strangely I felt calm and relaxed. I knew that my higher power had set me up to be able to do this, He wasn’t going to leave me now.

I don’t remember anything past the preop, the next thing I remember was waking up at 2 pm in my room. I felt pain in my abdomen and moving was difficult but I was more concerned with how Kayden was doing. My cell phone was in my bag with my other possessions so I couldn’t reach out to anybody to tell them how I was doing or find out how Kayden was until 4pm when my bag finally arrived.

I got the answer I was hoping for, Kayden pulled through like a champion. I spent two nights in the hospital and on Thursday morning I was released. As I left the hospital, I went over to see Kayden. He was sitting up in a chair with tubes attached to him with Vickie by his side. I got to give and receive the biggest hugs ever. As long as his body didn’t reject the kidney, he had a very good prognosis. He was supposed to be hospitalized for fourteen days, but he was released in ten. They had to stay in a hotel close to the hospital because he had daily visits.

They got to go home for Christmas. It has been a long road for him. No child should ever have to suffer in pain or worry about dying. He lost two years of his childhood from being sick. Now he is growing and doing things kids should be able to do. He has some limitations but they don’t keep him from shining. Every time I see him, I see a part of me. I couldn’t take away his pain, but I could help him get past it.

We are coming up on two years since the transplant. I passed my lab tests, cleared by transplant guidelines and released from Brigham’s. Kayden has passed his checkup also. We celebrate his 12th birthday next month and I wouldn’t miss it.

Not a day goes by I don’t think of him. Some have called me a hero. I don’t think of myself as a hero. I am somebody who got a second chance at life and I was able to give Kayden a second chance. I would do it all over again. I had always wanted to be an organ donor, I just thought I was going to have to die to do it.

Interview with Daniel Hamel

For this interview, we chose our short story winner Daniel Hamel to share his journey through his life and the decisions he faced to become the person he is today.

Can you share more about your experiences growing up in state custody and being adopted? How did those early challenges shape your perspective on life?

I was in states custody from the age of 6 months to 22 months so I don't remember any of it.

My parents told me I was adopted at a very early age so I have known for as far back as I can remember. It felt normal to me, I had friends from my neighborhood that I'm still good friends with today. I grew up in a good home. The curiosity of where I came from did hit me at an early age

The reunion with your siblings after discovering your birth family must have been emotional. Could you describe the moment you first met them and how it felt to reconnect after so many years?

It was surreal, it almost didn't seem like it was really happening. Almost an out-of-body experience. Learning that I was the 3rd oldest of 6 children after being the youngest of 5 was so cool but again, hard to phathom.

Your struggle with alcoholism is a significant part of your story. What led you to seek help, and how did overcoming addiction impact your life?

Great question! After a few years of very heavy drinking that got worse as time passed. I knew I was drinking myself to death, it was what I wanted. I wanted to die, it just wasn't happening fast enough. I considered suicide, as most alcoholics if they're being honest will admit to it being an option. I just couldn't do that. I had zero control, alcohol called the shots. My rock bottom was a lonely place. I wanted something better but couldn't do it on my own. My grandson Jack was one year old. I was no longer allowed to see him. I didn't want him to not know me and I wanted to be able to watch him grow and play sports. The only way I would see it was if I got sober.

My wife at the time, she was my second wife. She and I were separated. She had had enough but still cared. She made arrangements with my work and with the Brattleboro Retreat. On Sunday morning February 23rd 2014, she and her brother Kevin brought me to the retreat. I was ready and willing to go. When I got there and into the detox, it was like a weight was lifted. I knew the gig was up, and for the 1st time in years, I felt safe.

The things I've done in sobriety still have me baffled, to be honest. My life is wonderful and keeps getting better.

Can you walk us through the moments leading up to your decision to donate your kidney to your niece Vickie's son, Kayden? What factors played a role in making that choice?

I knew I felt healthy. I was mentally, physically and spiritually ready to do it. I feel like God prepared me to do it.

If I didn't find my birth family 28 years before, I wouldn't have known about Kayden. If I wasn't 7 years sober, I wouldn't have qualified to donate. When Brigham and Women's Hospital found out I was 7 years sober, didn't smoke and was on no medications, they said, you are a great candidate to be his donor. If I hadn't started biohacking 4 years before, I wouldn't have felt as great as I feel at my age. If I hadn't found my way into a Christian church 3 years prior, I wouldn't have been as spiritually prepared. These all seemed like great decisions for my life, but it was actually my higher power making sure I was fully ready when Kayden was diagnosed.

The screening process for organ donation can be rigorous. What was that experience like for you, and how did you feel leading up to the transplant?

It was 5 long months of testing. First was the questionnaire. I had to give my physical and mental history. I was honest about being an alcoholic in recovery. Being sober was what they were looking for.

Then blood work and urine samples to see if I was healthy enough to donate. Then they took more blood for tissue typing. That's how we found out I was a match. When they determined I was a match, it was the best feeling I've ever felt.

After all that, they did every test again to be sure they didn't miss anything. I gave a total of 69 vials of blood right up until the transplant.

I wasn't scared of going into surgery. I felt like God prepared me for this, he wasn't about to leave me now.

Both you and Kayden underwent significant recovery periods. What challenges did you face during this time, and how did you support each other through the process?

It was painful for about a week. I was released in 2 days and I was allowed to go visit him. Kayden was released in 10 days but he and Vickie stayed at a hotel close to Boston because Kayden had daily hospital visits.

I was out of work for 11 weeks. I couldn't drive for a week. I went and visited Kayden two weeks after the transplant on his 10th birthday and again at Christmas 3 weeks later. We definitely have a bond.

How has the experience of donating a kidney and saving Kayden's life influenced your relationship with him and with your extended family?

There are no words that describe the feeling I still have. He is my little buddy and I just love being around him.

My relationship with my siblings and Vickie is that we are so much closer. Vickie still thanks me. We chat often, as I do with Robin and Fred too.

Looking back on your journey, how has this entire experience changed your perspective on life, family, and the importance of giving back? What are your hopes for the future?

I now know that life is precious. Anything can happen at any time to any of us. Family is everything and so is our health.

I got a second chance in life and I was able to give Kayden a second chance. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to be, " the one." In some ways this experience saved me. I went from being an alcoholic who was knowingly killing himself to stepping up to the plate and hitting a home run to win the game.

There are thousands of people on dialysis waiting for a kidney. There are thousands of people who are healthy enough to donate.

If I can inspire one person to commit to the process and save a life, they too will experience what we living donors get to experience. The pain goes away but the memory lasts forever.

Check out Dan's inspirational video

Categories: : family, health, Inspirational, organ donation